DESOLATION(1)
The moment I walked through the door of our 'house',I locked it,fell on our rat-infested bed and began to cry. I was devastated. When I left this slum this morning, I had thought it was all over.I had said to myself,'Finally we're going to have a better life'.When I met Mr Onah,he treated me nicely,differently even;he made believe that there was light at the end of the tunnel and I had told myself that not all men were the same after all.But it is of course a lie,one I desperately needed to believe for so many reasons. Men are the same,every one of them.
Following my appointment with Mr Onah that morning,I had worn what I regarded as my 'best' shirt and skirt and out of excitement, arrived at his office about ten minutes earlier than the scheduled time.I was asked to wait at the reception while the secretary informed him of my arrival over the intercom. I was then directed to his office where he was seated behind a table,beaming with smiles. "Good morning pretty",he said in response to mygreetings,"you're early.I see you're very eager to begin."Because I wasn't sure what to reply, I smiled and said nothing. Then he offered me a seat as he stood up to lock his office door. I didn't think much of it at the time; I had just taken up his offer on the seat when I felt hands running down my back.I sprang up immediately and turned around to face him."What are you doing Sir?',I asked in a shaky voice but he ignored my question and while still rubbing my body, he said,"You're a beautiful girl- I'm not going to hurt you. If I'm going to help you, then you've got to play your part." "Please Sir, let me go",I pleaded and tried to free myself from his hold, but his strong hands subdued me on his table and began tearing at my buttons. Then I started screaming which I believe he would have ignored if he hadn't heard knocks on his door, followed by "Is everything okay, Sir?" He flared up and pushed me off the table, ordering me to leave his office immediately and never return. "And to think that I believed you'd be grateful for my help, you little prostitute", he said to me. Hastily rebuttoning my short while stifling tears, I unlocked the door of his office and ran out into the streets without as much as a glance at his secretary whose mouth was wide open at the sight of my unruly appearance. As I boarded a tricycle home, the only thing ringing in my head was "I'm not going to hurt you", only that it wasn't Mr Onah's voice I heard anymore.
• • • • • • • • • •
"I"m not going to hurt you baby",Papa had said that night when he first touched me."Just be a good girl and don't wake the neighbors".He pressed me down and began to unbutton my pajamas shirt. "Papa stop please",I pleaded but he wasn't listening.Instead,he pulled at my trousers with one hand while holding me down with the other.I didn't know what Papa intended to do with me;but I had a feeling it wasn't something good.My heart was beating rapidly because I knew that there was no way anyone could walk in at that time of the night to rescue me.It was a Friday night and Mama had traveled to the village that morning with Akuwa,my younger sister who was about six years at that time and was not to return till Sunday evening.Before I could think of anything else,Papa had pulled his shorts and laid on top of me.As he thrusted into me,he used his large palm to cover my mouth to prevent me from screaming.By the time he was done,my pillow was soaked with my tears,and my wrapper,with my blood and some sticky white substance i didn't recognize. "You're now a big girl",Papa said to me with a smile.Then he warned me never to mention the incident to anyone,more or less Mama.With tears-soaked face,I nodded in agreement because I knew I would never even have the courage to.Then he left my room with the stained wrapper,after wearing his shorts,leaving me writhing in pains.The next morning,he tried to wash the blood off the wrapper and when it wouldn't budge,he cut it off and disposed it in the compound incinerator which was usually cleared every Saturday evening.Then he gave me one of Mama's old one as a replacement.When Mama returned,the only thing that seemed out of place was my missing wrapper.Papa explained that he had discarded it after I had mistakenly cut it into pieces while practicing my Home Economics project on Stitching.In order to prove this,he produced a little piece of the wrapper cut into disorderly patterns.Out of shock and because Mama seemed satisfied with the explanation -she only scolded me for my carelessness-I said nothing and the matter was never revisited.
I was nine when it first happened and I desperately hoped it would be the last.Unfortunately,it only became the first of the very many.At a time,it became so frequent that Papa would sneak out of the room he shared with Mama at midnight and come to mine.He also did so whenever Mama was out of the house.Papa was a carpenter whose shed was only a trekking distance from the house while Mama was a teacher at the local primary school Akuwa and I attended.I later got admitted into the public secondary school closer to the house,from where I always returned home earlier than Akuwa and Mama,and as you may have guessed,the gory incidents continued.One day I summoned courage to tell Mama about what had been going on.It wasn't for my own sake;I was afraid that soon Papa would want to initiate my younger sister into the 'big girlship'.I was already noticing how Papa stared at her buttocks whenever she passed by him.I hadn't known what to expect from Mama,but I sincerely was shocked at what followed my report.She hit me across the face and called me a 'bloody liar',asking how I would dare accuse 'her husband of such dirty acts'. Her husband, she said, not my father-was there something she wasn't telling me? Then she warned me never to utter such "nonsense" again and that ended the talk.
When I turned fourteen,I was preparing for my Junior Secondary School Certificate Examinations(JSSCE) and we were required to pay some money for extra-preparatory classes which were to take place every wednesday and friday from official school closing time(1pm) till 4pm.Because Papa could not afford it,I always returned home from school before the lessons began.Those two days of every week spelt hell for me as Papa would sneak home at about 2pm and force himself on me before going back to his shed.He did this knowing that neither Mama nor Akuwa would be home till 4pm when their school usually dismissed.
It was on one of such occasions that Mama came home unexpectedly.She must have forgotten one of her school books which I found on the table when I came back that day.Papa was atop me with his wide palm over my mouth to prevent me from screaming when Mama pushed open the door to the room I shared with Akuwa to ascertain the source of the stifled noise I believe she must have heard .At the sound of the door creaking open,Papa and I turned almost simultaneously to see Mama's mouth wide open in shock.Then she turned around almost immediately and shut the door behind her almost too quietly as if she had interrupted some very important meeting.She must have left immediately because I heard retreating footsteps,then nothing else afterwards.Subsequently,Papa climbed off me and left the room.I ran into the bathroom where I almost cried out my eyeballs and then had my bath.Later that evening,I waited for when all hell would be let loose but nothing happened-instead Mama went about her normal duties and said nothing.Days,and weeks went by,yet there was no change.That was when something snapped inside of me and although it didn't break then,I was sure of two things:Papa was never going to stop now, and I was never going to forgive Mama for this all the days of my life.
That thing broke about a year later, when I walked in on Papa trying to force himself on Akuwa. It was almost noon on a Saturday and Mama has gone for a church meeting after sending me to the market to get some foodstuffs earlier that morning. Mother Luck had smiled on me and I was able to finish buying all I needed to, in less than an hour, so I returned home quickly. I remembered my sister saying that she had an important assignment to finish and a Maths test to prepare for, so I went into the house quietly, trying not to distract her. As I walked past our room to the kitchen, I heard familiar stifled cries from inside. I noiselessly pushed open the door and caught my breath at the sight of Papa trying to do to my sister, the exact thing he had started with me six years before.
While Papa was too busy tearing at her dress-amidst her sobbing pleas-to even notice my presence, I ran to the kitchen and picked up the nearest knife. Racing back to the room,I shouted,"Get off her now if you're not ready to go to hell yet!" Noticing me for the first time, he and Akuwa turned towards me in shock and he jumped off her immediately he saw the gleaming knife in my hand. Then I warned him never to go close to my sister again or I would kill him. I'm sure he saw from the burning fury in my eyes that I meant every word of what I said, for he wordlessly left our room while fumbling with his trousers. After he left, I dropped the knife and ran to Akuwa-who was sobbing loudly at that time-and began to wipe her tears, while stifling mine at the same time. Glad to find out that I'd saved her right on time, I consoled her and advised her against telling Mama about the incident as she wouldn't believe her. With doubts clearly written on my sister's face, she promised not to. Papa must have tried it again because about two weeks later,I overheard her telling Mama amidst tears "... it isn't the first time, Mama. I would never lie against him", then I heard a slap, followed by "Shut up you lying bitch! My husband would never do that." And that was when I made up my mind; someone was going to pay for his sins...(To be continued)
•What do you think happened next? Don't forget to drop your comments below.
PS:Dear Readers, it's been exactly one year since the pursuit of this passion and I want to use this medium to say a great Thank You to y'all for all the amazing love and support so far. You, yes you, are the reason I do this-thank you for not letting that purpose be defeated.Happy One Year Anniversary to us. Cheers to a Lifetime of inspiring one another and touching lives. I love you all.
Project BCD- Be the Change you Desire.
The moment I walked through the door of our 'house',I locked it,fell on our rat-infested bed and began to cry. I was devastated. When I left this slum this morning, I had thought it was all over.I had said to myself,'Finally we're going to have a better life'.When I met Mr Onah,he treated me nicely,differently even;he made believe that there was light at the end of the tunnel and I had told myself that not all men were the same after all.But it is of course a lie,one I desperately needed to believe for so many reasons. Men are the same,every one of them.
Following my appointment with Mr Onah that morning,I had worn what I regarded as my 'best' shirt and skirt and out of excitement, arrived at his office about ten minutes earlier than the scheduled time.I was asked to wait at the reception while the secretary informed him of my arrival over the intercom. I was then directed to his office where he was seated behind a table,beaming with smiles. "Good morning pretty",he said in response to mygreetings,"you're early.I see you're very eager to begin."Because I wasn't sure what to reply, I smiled and said nothing. Then he offered me a seat as he stood up to lock his office door. I didn't think much of it at the time; I had just taken up his offer on the seat when I felt hands running down my back.I sprang up immediately and turned around to face him."What are you doing Sir?',I asked in a shaky voice but he ignored my question and while still rubbing my body, he said,"You're a beautiful girl- I'm not going to hurt you. If I'm going to help you, then you've got to play your part." "Please Sir, let me go",I pleaded and tried to free myself from his hold, but his strong hands subdued me on his table and began tearing at my buttons. Then I started screaming which I believe he would have ignored if he hadn't heard knocks on his door, followed by "Is everything okay, Sir?" He flared up and pushed me off the table, ordering me to leave his office immediately and never return. "And to think that I believed you'd be grateful for my help, you little prostitute", he said to me. Hastily rebuttoning my short while stifling tears, I unlocked the door of his office and ran out into the streets without as much as a glance at his secretary whose mouth was wide open at the sight of my unruly appearance. As I boarded a tricycle home, the only thing ringing in my head was "I'm not going to hurt you", only that it wasn't Mr Onah's voice I heard anymore.
• • • • • • • • • •
"I"m not going to hurt you baby",Papa had said that night when he first touched me."Just be a good girl and don't wake the neighbors".He pressed me down and began to unbutton my pajamas shirt. "Papa stop please",I pleaded but he wasn't listening.Instead,he pulled at my trousers with one hand while holding me down with the other.I didn't know what Papa intended to do with me;but I had a feeling it wasn't something good.My heart was beating rapidly because I knew that there was no way anyone could walk in at that time of the night to rescue me.It was a Friday night and Mama had traveled to the village that morning with Akuwa,my younger sister who was about six years at that time and was not to return till Sunday evening.Before I could think of anything else,Papa had pulled his shorts and laid on top of me.As he thrusted into me,he used his large palm to cover my mouth to prevent me from screaming.By the time he was done,my pillow was soaked with my tears,and my wrapper,with my blood and some sticky white substance i didn't recognize. "You're now a big girl",Papa said to me with a smile.Then he warned me never to mention the incident to anyone,more or less Mama.With tears-soaked face,I nodded in agreement because I knew I would never even have the courage to.Then he left my room with the stained wrapper,after wearing his shorts,leaving me writhing in pains.The next morning,he tried to wash the blood off the wrapper and when it wouldn't budge,he cut it off and disposed it in the compound incinerator which was usually cleared every Saturday evening.Then he gave me one of Mama's old one as a replacement.When Mama returned,the only thing that seemed out of place was my missing wrapper.Papa explained that he had discarded it after I had mistakenly cut it into pieces while practicing my Home Economics project on Stitching.In order to prove this,he produced a little piece of the wrapper cut into disorderly patterns.Out of shock and because Mama seemed satisfied with the explanation -she only scolded me for my carelessness-I said nothing and the matter was never revisited.
I was nine when it first happened and I desperately hoped it would be the last.Unfortunately,it only became the first of the very many.At a time,it became so frequent that Papa would sneak out of the room he shared with Mama at midnight and come to mine.He also did so whenever Mama was out of the house.Papa was a carpenter whose shed was only a trekking distance from the house while Mama was a teacher at the local primary school Akuwa and I attended.I later got admitted into the public secondary school closer to the house,from where I always returned home earlier than Akuwa and Mama,and as you may have guessed,the gory incidents continued.One day I summoned courage to tell Mama about what had been going on.It wasn't for my own sake;I was afraid that soon Papa would want to initiate my younger sister into the 'big girlship'.I was already noticing how Papa stared at her buttocks whenever she passed by him.I hadn't known what to expect from Mama,but I sincerely was shocked at what followed my report.She hit me across the face and called me a 'bloody liar',asking how I would dare accuse 'her husband of such dirty acts'. Her husband, she said, not my father-was there something she wasn't telling me? Then she warned me never to utter such "nonsense" again and that ended the talk.
When I turned fourteen,I was preparing for my Junior Secondary School Certificate Examinations(JSSCE) and we were required to pay some money for extra-preparatory classes which were to take place every wednesday and friday from official school closing time(1pm) till 4pm.Because Papa could not afford it,I always returned home from school before the lessons began.Those two days of every week spelt hell for me as Papa would sneak home at about 2pm and force himself on me before going back to his shed.He did this knowing that neither Mama nor Akuwa would be home till 4pm when their school usually dismissed.
That thing broke about a year later, when I walked in on Papa trying to force himself on Akuwa. It was almost noon on a Saturday and Mama has gone for a church meeting after sending me to the market to get some foodstuffs earlier that morning. Mother Luck had smiled on me and I was able to finish buying all I needed to, in less than an hour, so I returned home quickly. I remembered my sister saying that she had an important assignment to finish and a Maths test to prepare for, so I went into the house quietly, trying not to distract her. As I walked past our room to the kitchen, I heard familiar stifled cries from inside. I noiselessly pushed open the door and caught my breath at the sight of Papa trying to do to my sister, the exact thing he had started with me six years before.
While Papa was too busy tearing at her dress-amidst her sobbing pleas-to even notice my presence, I ran to the kitchen and picked up the nearest knife. Racing back to the room,I shouted,"Get off her now if you're not ready to go to hell yet!" Noticing me for the first time, he and Akuwa turned towards me in shock and he jumped off her immediately he saw the gleaming knife in my hand. Then I warned him never to go close to my sister again or I would kill him. I'm sure he saw from the burning fury in my eyes that I meant every word of what I said, for he wordlessly left our room while fumbling with his trousers. After he left, I dropped the knife and ran to Akuwa-who was sobbing loudly at that time-and began to wipe her tears, while stifling mine at the same time. Glad to find out that I'd saved her right on time, I consoled her and advised her against telling Mama about the incident as she wouldn't believe her. With doubts clearly written on my sister's face, she promised not to. Papa must have tried it again because about two weeks later,I overheard her telling Mama amidst tears "... it isn't the first time, Mama. I would never lie against him", then I heard a slap, followed by "Shut up you lying bitch! My husband would never do that." And that was when I made up my mind; someone was going to pay for his sins...(To be continued)
•What do you think happened next? Don't forget to drop your comments below.
PS:Dear Readers, it's been exactly one year since the pursuit of this passion and I want to use this medium to say a great Thank You to y'all for all the amazing love and support so far. You, yes you, are the reason I do this-thank you for not letting that purpose be defeated.Happy One Year Anniversary to us. Cheers to a Lifetime of inspiring one another and touching lives. I love you all.
Project BCD- Be the Change you Desire.
Comments
Thumbs up Jay..